An Exposed Heart.

I often found myself not fully exposing my heart to God during prayer. I would hide my true feelings regarding the subject of discussion during my talk with Him and often found myself apologizing for my negative thoughts or feelings. I worried that God would condemn me for the negative thoughts that were tucked away in the back of my mind. I only wanted to give God my best and I felt that bringing Him the negative, ugly side of me was not accepting or pleasing to Him. This became very troubling for me and I would feel myself slipping back into my low self-worth state of mind that God removed from me so long ago.

I started reading through Psalms during my quiet time one day and noticed that the author, David, was very forward about his feelings for his enemies. He was asking at times, and even begging, for God to pour out His wrath on them. This seemed so wrong to me. I started talking to God about how this seems so contradicting to the way we are taught to pray. As I kept reading, I came to the commentary on the side of my study Bible.  The author was writing about this very thought that I was struggling with, this way of prayer that David was executing, this can be confusing to a believer’s heart as we are taught to love and pray for those who persecute us.

God then showed me several truths to keep in mind when studying through Psalms, or any part of the Bible:

1. God wants us to express our emotions to Him, and ONLY Him. Even those feelings of ugliness… ONLY IN PRAYER!

2. Remember that it’s the Lord’s place to punish people — not ours. David never harmed anyone — he called for the Lord to.

3. Remember that those who choose not to love God will be judged by God — we are not called to judge.

4. Remember that God loves His people and will work things out for our good. He has your best interests at heart.

God’s desire is for us to be open and honest in with Him at all times. He knows our thoughts and feelings anyway, so no need to hide it from Him! We need to be real and let Him into our ugly. That’s when we will see a true transformation happen in our relationship with Him as He works out things for our good. And that is His ultimate desire, to grow closer to us.

“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!” Psalms 139:1-6

What the enemy does not want you to know..

Welcome to my first blog post! Since the release of my book, I have had so many sweet responses from you guys and I just want to thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. I have been so overwhelmed with the support and love from everyone! Thank you so much! Excited to see what God does!!

I wanted to share what that I learned during my study of 1 Corinthians. I will be honest here and tell you that I struggled with this book. When I start a study, I pick a book in the Bible and I started paraphrasing every verse.  In Corinthians, I found myself wanting to rush through it because it was soo long and it was going to take me forever! And, I wasn’t getting that WOW moment that I feel when God speaks to me through a passage in the Bible. God really convicted me one day to go back and highlighted the main points in my journal that I had paraphrased. Oh. My. Goodness… The enemy had been distracting me!! I started to re-write the main points.  I was in tears after reading all the goodness that flowed from those pages! The enemy did NOT want me to see this! This stuff is powerful and I’m so thankful that God opened my eyes and my heart that day. I want to share with you some of what He showed me. These are just a few:

-Love others, even in their sin. (This is how people know you have Christ in you) 1 Cor. 1:4-7.

-God promises strength until He comes back for us. 1 Cor. 1:8.

-God has called you to have a relationship with Him through Jesus. 1 Cor. 1:9.

-There is no one greater than Christ. CHRIST = POWER & WISDOM OF GOD. 1 Cor. 1:17.

-Nonbelievers of Christ think the message of Christ = foolishness because they can’t understand. 1 Cor. 1:18, 2:14.

-Believers think the message of Christ = POWER.  1 Cor. 1:18.

-Even the wisest men fail in comparison to God’s wisdom and perfection. 1 Cor. 1:25.

-God chooses the week and unpopular to do His work. 1 Cor. 26-27.

-The Holy Spirit will tell you what to say and do. We have the MIND of CHRIST! 1 Cor. 2:5, 2:15-16.

-The Lord knows the heart of ALL people. 1 Cor. 3:20.

-Do NOT judge others. 1 Cor. 4:5.

-Do not brag. If you do brag- brag about what God has done for you. 1 Cor. 4:6.

-Imitate Christ. 1 Cor. 4:16.

-Glorify God with your body. 1 Cor. 6:20.

-YOU CANT UNDO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO. 1 Cor. 7:18-21.

-You were bought with a price when Christ died for you on the cross. Do not become slaves of men, you belong to God. 1 Cor. 7:23

-Keep God first in your life, no matter where you are called. 1 Cor. 7:24.

-ALL things are from Him, we exist from Him. There is ONE Lord, His name is Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 8:7.

Write these words on your heart and live them out. These are instructions God has given us to live by. If we choose to live like this, we find happiness and joy, but most importantly, strength to make it through our day. That is my favorite promise of God!  Nothing in this world can give us Joy the way God can. His strength and power is greater than anything in this world.

WE EXIST FOR HIM…