FAITH Vs FEAR. When the struggle is real.

The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and I was asked by the CNO of my hospital to speak at an annual event that they host to support Domestic Violence Awareness. I am so excited and proud to be part of a company that acknowledges the need for recognizing and treating survivors that enter our hospital. Centennial Medical Center, here in Nashville,  has implemented a training program that equips nurses and doctors with the knowledge they need to treat survivors of domestic abuse when they enter our facility. We are being trained to properly assess for signs and symptoms of abuse and protocols are being made so that we can provide safe and effective care to those who do not have a voice.

These women come in to be treated for broken bones, cuts, and other injuries they receive by their abuser. Most are brought in by their abuser and lie about how they  were injured out of fear of further punishment when they get home. I cannot tell you how excited I am to see this change! So proud of you Centennial Medical Center!

I was a little nervous about speaking, most of you know that my story is a story of God’s redemption and this was not a faith based event. I tell my story because God gave me this amazing story. How could I not mention His name, after all, He is the author.

Thirty minutes prior to my speech, I sat sipping hot tea. I was recovering from a cold and had lost my voice. My voice was not back completely and I felt that the enemy was trying every tactic he could to keep me from sharing my story. I shared my heart with God while sipping my tea and then Psalms 18 came to me. I pulled out my phone and opened my Bible app. Psalms 18 is a very special passage to me. After God delivered me from my abuser, He showed me Psalms 18 as if He wrote this just for me. It was my love letter from God.

I started to read:

“I love you, LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock where I seek refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the LORD, who is worthy of my praise, and I was saved from my enemies. The ropes of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. I called out to the LORD in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears” (verses 1-6)

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He rescued me from my powerful enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support. He brought my out to a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (verses 16-19)

“The LORD lives – blessed be my rock! He frees me from my enemies, You exalt me above my adversaries: you rescue me from the violent man” (verses 46, 48)

Now you understand my love for Psalms 18. God reminded me in that moment what He did for me. He reminded me that I am who I am today because of Him. Nothing in this world carried me through the last 10 years like He did. I owe my all to my LORD. I found strength from Psalms 18 that day as God reminded me of all He brought me through. I spoke as if I was speaking to a church full of believers. I quoted scripture and I gave all the glory to God during that speech. I had never felt such peace as I stood there proclaiming the Truth. And as for my voice, I had a microphone so I didn’t have to yell!

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After my speech, I was amazed by the outpouring of support that I received. One lady came to thank me for sharing my story and told me God spoke through me. That was just what I needed to hear. That was the most amazing feeling, I knew that I did what God had called me to do. Several doors opened up for me that day and I know God orchestrated every detail. After all, He is God and He can do anything.

I cannot wait to meet Him face to face and my hope is to hear Him say “well done my daughter, my faithful servant.” Occasionally, I have to be reminded of that goal because I know that I fail Him daily.  But the most beautiful part is…

He never fails me.

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